Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
