So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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