maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
