it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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