so explain again why im purple
no
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just found puke in my bra..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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