marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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