You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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