I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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