The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
