Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
