i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
