when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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