Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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