it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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