so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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