I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
