You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it's great music for shaving your balls
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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