Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
