Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
