did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
