let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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