So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
