thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
