I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
