I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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