I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
