I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
