I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
