I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
