ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
