If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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