dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
