i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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