I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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