What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
