I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
