i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
