I hope mine doesn't look like that
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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