been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
