my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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