Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
