super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
