If i come over, it means nothing
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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