Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
