Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
