i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
