A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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