last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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