Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
