Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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