Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
